Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Good Ol' Days

So I know this is a kind of late post today. A really late post today. but Ive been down today and not really felt like getting on the internet until now because some things have been going on. M and I talked a lot today and I asked him about the fact that I can hear It. He said I was the only kid he'd ever met who was like that where my dbeing deaf didn't affect the fact that I could hear It when it was nearby.

We've been using me as a warnin gsign of when to run.

I don't really know how to describe the sound of its voice. Whenever It's around I hear this dry, scratchy sound that is almost like what I imagine a radio sound to be. I don't know. It's so hard to put into terms that make sense for me and it freaks me out a lot. When most people hear things does it feel like your whole head is vibrating? Because that is kind of what it's like for me and I don't know how to put it into words. it's dark and scary and it tells me things that I don't understand because I've never heard the words out loud. I told M the sounds I'd heard and he just looked at me all wide eyed and then shook his head.

"Don't listen," he said. "Whatever you do just don't fucking listen. He's trying to get in your brain and I don't want that."
I thought it was odd at the time that he said I don't want that because I don't know if he really cares that I'm around at all. I mean, he stayed with me all that time in my house so I think that counts for something. But I don't really understand why and  Ithink maybe he feels bad for me and that is why he's staying around. Maybe.....he blames himself for me being chased by Slenderman too? Do you guys think that is something M would do?

I don't blame him.

I wanted to help and if I didn't I would never have brought him home. Even when I read the story and thought it was fake, I knew he was a nice kid who deserved help even if he wasn't telling me everything about James and all of that. Even so I wish I could go home and sleep in a bed. My back hurts and the weather seems colder for the fact that we don't have a proper place to stay. Even though it's an incredibly mild winter it's been bad for us. We need to get new clothes and I'm trying to convince M to go to a store with me soon. I miss the good old days at home when I would make him soup and try to convince him to come inside which he rarely ever did.

There were a few times though.

I guess right now there's nothing much to report and I'm basically just using this blog to vent emotional stress. I'm going to log off now and try to sleep because M is looking at me funny and I don't want to make him mad. It rained tonight and we got to watch it from inside a building for once! it was nice and peaceful and I think even M calmed down because we sat and watched for a while, not talking.

Thanks for listening and stuff.


Monday, January 30, 2012


So Id meant to get a post up every single day for you guys but that obiously hasn't happened and I'm sorry for that. M doesn't really like it very muchwhen I get on my laptop but I've been talking to people like Elaine and sShaun to make myself feel better so I'm glad i brought it with me. Shaun mostly told me to keep M safe and thats what I've been trying to do as much as I can. Elaine and I talked about a lot of different stuff. But that is mostly why I haven't posted anything this past week and I'm really sorry to all of you for that. I promise I'll do better from now on.

We're currently in new York obviously. We got here a few days ago after selling my car for plane tickets which was actually a good idea that Elaine had. I wanted to keepthe car but M thought it would be best if we didn't have it weighing us down because we'd have to spend more time on the ground driving it. Being up high is important he says, even if not everyone agrees.

I looked around and saw that it doesn't work for a lot of people. When I asked M he said that it only works most of the time and that not all of his rules are concrete. That's why you have to keep running, because you don't want to be around when the rules stop working and the Keep Running Rule is the only one that seems to work across the board for everyone.  Anyway since we moved to New York I haven't seen him at all while we've been up on roof tops and in people's houses. I don't particularly like breaking into places but M says its a necessity during the winter time because we can't go to hotels. I talked to him about this last night.
"Why?" I asked.
"because being in buildings isn't a fucking good idea most of the time." He answered, and he was glaring a me the whole time. "You can't escape very easily because there's only one way out and that's down. and down is dangerous."

Snow was falling all around and even though it was bitterly cold and I had to squint I could see M's face clearly. He doesn't talk about his appearance much but if I could I would paint him because I think he's a really interesting portrait. I don't think he;s had a hair cut in a long time so his hair is down around his shoulders and makes his face look even more soft than it already is. Even when he's angry, which is a lot, he looks very gentle and I thought hewas a girl when I first saw him in the library. And he's still wearing the green notre Dame hoodie I gave him.

"What?" He snapped because I was staring at him too long.
"Nothing," I said. "I wont ask about hotels anymore is all."

That was the end of that conversation and I feel like i messed up and made him mad. Gosh, has he ever had anyone run with him before? I don't think he knows how to talk to people so if anyone knows what I can do to cheer him up that'd be really great if you'll let me know. This post doesn't really have much point but I just wanted to let you guys know we're bothstill okay. I'll post more tomorrow with anything that happens.


Monday, January 16, 2012

cold on the roof (part 2)

So M hasn't posted anything on his blog or commented on anything in a long while andI feel like I ow e it to you guys sort of to post something about what is going on with us now.

Like i said before we're on the run together now. This Slenderman stuff is scary and I don't know why I can hear It but so far that has been a pretty good indicator of when It is nearby so we have to move. Mostly we just move around in big cities and if it gets too dangerous we just move on. Since the winter has finally gotten cold and snow has been falling its been really bad sleeping on rooftops. but that's what M says we have to do and I tend to trust him since he knows what he's doing and so many of you guys apparently look up to him. He also says it isn't safe to be blogging and he's kinda mad at me for posting these things but I think it's important.

I don't know why he thinks it isn't safe to be blogging anymore. I asked him and he just looked at me for a moment with this really intense and angry glare. like usually he says stuff or gives me a really weird explanation but I think somehow I made him sad and that made me feel bad. So I dropped it because sometimes I am kinda spineless.
 I think we'll be catching a plane to NYC soon. That's what M said anyway because he thinks it's a safe place. I'm not so sure, but I guess if we can find warmer places to sleep then that will be nice. Because all we have is a spare blanket from my car and that's not very good for keeping warm. Hopefully things get better soon.

I really don't like this. I'm cold and scared.


P.S.- also I forgot to put links in my last post and I'msorry for that. I think most people who read this know who M is anyway but for those of you who don't the links might help and you should look at M's rules. He's really really smart.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Starting out

So it's snowing outside the car and I feel like now would be a good time to sit down and write this post before we drive and I lose wifi access again. I really don't even know where to begin I mean I have so much to say and I'm so scared right now that its sortahard to think. I guess I'll sorta from the beginning and try to calm down while i write though I dont know how much good that will do.

That kid Shaun showed up at my house a few weeks ago to talk with M. the minute he showed up he and M were always yelling at each other but then they would like make up and seem better so it was okay. I remember the first day he got here I asked him what he thought of the place.
"It's not really tall enough for the great and mighty M, don't you think?" he said but I think that was a joke because then he grinned sort of sarcastically. I'm not gonna lie the guy was sort of creepy but that was because he had these really searching eyes, like he was always expecting someone or something to jump out of a bush and attack him.

So we kept him in the house for almost three weeks. During that time I don't think he or M were really very happy. M yelled at him a lot about this girl named Elaine and that made Shaun really mad so he yelled back about that girl Beth. I guess M and Beth were friends at some point? I read her blog it wasn't that good.

But I guess it doesn't have to be because it's all real which is the second part of the story I have to tell and that's the scariest thing.

Before Shaun left, he told me he wanted me to help M out.
"Take care of him," He said. "He really needs someone to help convince him that people are good for something other than dying."
Which is I thinka kind of weird thing to say but then having seeing what I've seen of M its probably pretty accurate.

After that things were quiet for a week. M didn't talk much except to say he was sorry for the yelling and that maybe it was time to think about leaving soon. That made me kind of sad because he'd been in my house so long I had kind of gotten used to him being around and the thought of him going upset me a lot. I mean I knew he was going to have to at some point since he wasn't paying rent but I hoped he'd stay longer until he could get back on his feet.
I asked if maybe we could keep in touch.
"No," he said. "That wouldn't be safe."

What happened after that was the next night. I came home from the library and put my bag down and called for my roommate and nobody came. Which was odd because someone was usually around by that time at night and they would have ordinarily come and greeted me. So I put my things down and went to look for someone, and then I guess I ... it's really hard to explain but I think I heard something talking to me. Like for anyone who doesn't know about me Im deaf  so this is a strange thing to explain and I don't know where to begin. It was this sort of dry, scratchy sound saying words I didn't know very well and without vibration. By this time I was really freaked out so I went into the living room totry and find someone and I did find someone but I wish I hadn't.

there was blood all over. I mean like all over the place not just kind of on things. On the TV and on the couch and on the table and on the floor and the ceiling and the walls. I don't think I've ever seen that much blood in my life and I lived in Chicago. It was all over everything and there were little bits of what looked like skin that I really don't like thinking about. The voice that I heard got bigger I think because there was more intense vibration and by that time I had noticed Brandon's body on one side of the room, and Megan's  on the other. Except Brandon wasn't a body, Brandon was moving.

I ran over to him and found that he was bleeding really bad and that what looked like his intestines were hanging out. A lot of what happened next is a blur because I was so freaked out from the sight of so much blood that I tried talking to Brandon even though I knew he couldn't speak. He was mumbling a lot and I could read his lips but I don't think he was saying anything coherent. That was when two things happened.

First: M showed up. He ran into the room and started yelling things at me about moving and not being a fucking idiot and wasting anymore time. I told him we had to get Brandon to a hospital.
"No you fucking moron!" He shouted."he's dead already we have to go!"
I was so scared and about to respond but that was when the second thing happened.

It showed up.

That thing, the Slenderman, whatever it is, It sort of stepped down out of my roommates bedroom door from the left side of the room. For a moment it looked like it was hunched over to fit through the door, and then it stood up and I don't think I've seen anything that tall in my life. The voice I was hearing got so loud that it hurt and I couldn't feel or move at all. All I couldsee was that thing standing there in the doorway covered in blood I think. It looked at me even though it doesn't have eyes.And I don't know what It said but It spoke to me.

After that I think M must have dashed across the room to grab me. He was pulling me by the arm down the hallway and away from the Slenderman and we both made a pretty mad rush for my car. He was screaming the whole time about how he had been stupid and how he should have left with Shaun. I guess he was mad at himself for staying around but honestly I don't know what good it would havedone. According to all of you this was going to happen anyway from the moment I pick M up.

But he cursed and told me he shouldn't have done something bad like that to me. He said he was sorry and hen drove us away from my house and my life because I was too scared to see straight. But I don't think he was really very good at driving because we swerved a lot. Then again, maybe he was as scared as me.

We drove for a few miles until we were in some small town just outside of Chicago, and that's where we've stopped now for the night. I think we're planning on catching a plane to somewhere like New York because M says we need to stay up high. I guess now that I know all of this is real I believe him. I trust him. But I just don't know what to do right now other than write this post while sitting in the front of my car. M is asleep in the backseat, though I think he's having a nightmare. He keeps rolling over and mumbling. So I put a blanket from my trunk on him to keep him warm. I've been watching the snow fall for the last few hours while he sleeps.

Gosh that's a lot of writing, but I guess I can see why people do this now, because I think I'm a lot more calm now than I was before. I'm still trying to sort all of this out in my head but it's tough. I didn't know before that all of this was real. I sure feel stupid for thinking it was. I thought this was a game like the seedeater stuff but I was wrong.
and now M and I are on the run together. At least I'm not alone or dead.